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asinglegarbanzobeanonitaliantile:

me as a lawyer: kk that was rude . 

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shouldnt:

when your parents ask where all the cookies in the house went

image

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hey this post is in the title so it will catch your eye there’s actually nothing funny or relatable about it but the urge to reblog it is undeniable

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queerios-and-milk:

I really worry about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing. 

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i am mine.
before i am ever anyone else’s.

(via thisegyptinboy)
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zachsgay:

i love being a Hot Gay Blonde

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cumillionaire:

If my jokes offend you:

  1. I’m sorry
  2. It won’t happen again
  3. 1 & 2 are lies 
  4. You’re a pussy
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